


light

by fukurouji



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Bokuaka - Freeform, Divorced parents, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Marriage Proposal, POV First Person, bokuto has some realizations, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-26
Updated: 2016-01-26
Packaged: 2018-05-16 10:41:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5825428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fukurouji/pseuds/fukurouji
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Falling in love with Akaashi Keiji was a complicated sort of thing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	light

**Author's Note:**

> I did not think of this inside the bath and I _definitely_ did not rush scrubbing myself because I couldn't wait to type this out NOPE.
> 
> I just have so many feelings for bokuaka and I'm so glad I'm finally able to post a near decent fic about this pairing. I actually kind of had a difficult time thinking of a good title but since I'm so so so in love with Sleeping At Last, I decided to name this after one of their songs. It's a really great song and it's perfect for the "mood" I tried to set in this fic.
> 
> If you haven't listened to it yet, I suggest you do. You can listen to it [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7egYKkIKqDs).
> 
> Also, this is written in first pov bc I realized it's easier for me??

_I kissed your lips and in that moment with your hand behind my head pulling me in, I swore it was you._

 

It had been a good day, I thought, absently running my fingers through Akaashi's dark silky hair as his head lay comfortably on my lap.

I felt contented--happy even; so it was probably what made me say the next few words that came out of my mouth;

"You know you're my first love, right?"

There was a second where I thought he had fallen asleep; but then I felt him shift from where he was laying and stared at me through those half-lidded eyes.

"How did you know?" He whispered.

"Know what?"

"That you were in love me,"

I leaned my head back on the couch.

I imagined the first time I saw him; he was a first year applying for the position of a setter. I thought he was pretty, but that was all; then he played, and I thought he had so much potential. I even thought he'd surpass me in no time. But truth be told, I wasn't really against the idea. If anything else, I felt something that might have been close to _proud_.

And it was weird, because thinking about it now, I think I had already admired him even before we grew close.

You see, falling in love with Akaashi Keiji was a complicated sort of thing.

It wasn't simply brought by the fact that he was blessed physically--nor was it a mere result of an emotional attachment just because he was the one I usually hung out with or the only one who had bothered to deal with me in his own way; though those could also be part of it.

Falling in love with my vice captain and _best friend_ hadn't been a sudden realization one day. It was more like an unexpected _wanting_ each time I looked at him;

A wanting to see him--A wanting to hold him--A wanting to protect him--A wanting to make him happy.

Falling in love with him had come as naturally as becoming close to someone--you wouldn't notice it happening because everything would just pile up and fall into place eventually.

It took time--lots of it.

That's why I couldn't pinpoint _exactly_ when or how I fell in love with him. Maybe it was when my parents got a divorce during my last year in high school and it had affected the way I played in court so I got into one of my moods again.

But Akaashi--Akaashi knew somehow; unlike what he usually did to let me "calm down", he didn't stop tossing to me that day--even when I told him over and over again to do so. He passed every ball to me and I just kept swinging and missing and hitting as I let all the grief and frustration out with every swing of my arms. Then after practice that day, when we were the only two players left in the locker room, he wrapped an arm around me in a reassuring manner and told me the words I never expected him to say because, well, he was Akaashi and I was Bokuto and we weren't supposed to say such things to each other but he did anyway;

"I know you, Bokuto-san. And I'm always here. _Always_ ,"

Yeah.

Perhaps it was that--perhaps that was when I realized I'd been in love with him all along.

Could be.

But then I forgot about that eventually; not really giving it that much thought after a few days.

And yet, at times, things would happen, and there was that same feeling again and then everything would go back to normal until, it all fell perfectly into place one day in the summer after I graduated high school and all I could remember really were; Akaashi laughing while spraying me with his water gun as we chased each other at his grandmother's house and me getting pushed into the pool and seeing blue waves and dark green eyes and uttering his first name like a prayer or a promise or something else that made his eyes darken and my heartbeat turn erratic as soon as we resurfaced.

Falling in love with him was simple yet complicated at the same time. How were you supposed to explain something to someone when you didn't understand it yourself?

So instead of giving him whatever answer he was expecting, I said;

"It's not that simple, Keiji."

"Then help me understand,"

I discarded my fingers through his hair to cup his cheek instead and caressed it with my thumb. I smiled when he nuzzled into my palm.

_So cute._

"How did _you_ know you love me?"

He thought about it for a moment.

"Well, it's not like I just suddenly thought one day _'oh hey I'm in love with my captain, I wonder what it's like to date him.'_ "

_I perfectly understand._

I chuckled softly, "That's not what happened?"

He allowed himself to smile.

And _that_ \--that could've been my undoing--that smile of his. I would've leaned down and tasted that slight upturn of his mouth but I didn't this time.

Instead, I let myself trace the soft curve of his nose, his high cheekbones, the few light freckles dusting his cheeks, and the flecks of gray that mixed with the dominant green of his eyes.

He was beautiful; beautiful in ways that even I, myself couldn't fathom even through these 7 years I was with him.

He was beautiful; _so_ beautiful that I still had a hard time believing that he was _mine_ \- mine to hold at every waking breath and whisper all my fears and secrets to.

But I had now all the assurance I needed; he was here with me, a small smile playing on his lips and a contented look painting his face as he stared up at me with the love and adoration and acceptance that I more than deserved.

It was so corny--the way I put these thoughts and feelings into words; _It's so unlike you, Bokuto_ , I imagined Kuroo saying. But I wouldn't trade them for anything else.

Everything that had happened between us--both good and bad--had led to this. The 7 years I'd known him were some of the best years of my life and I couldn't wait to spend the next with him, but now with a different and greater kind of promise that I was willing to fulfill until my dying breath.

So--what am I even fretting about?

I looked up at the ceiling again and imagined a particular silver band hiding inside my closet; one that held so many vows and wishes that would last a lifetime.

I knew it would fit Akaashi pefectly; I knew with my entire being that he would say yes without a doubt; I knew he'd scold me once I get down on one knee and say "you're being embarrassing, _Koutarou,_ " but he'd help me up anyway and squeeze my hand before he'd grant me his kisses like he always did.

I wanted to believe these things.

I believed them.

A part of me didn't want to sound so sure. But right now with him looking at me so earnestly as he entwined our fingers together like a perfect puzzle, I couldn't help but feel sure.

I _was_ sure.

When I looked back down at him again, the smile he flashed me was all the assurance I needed and I thought;

_Yep, I'm sure. I'm definitely going to ask this man to marry me._

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!! Feel free to leave kudos or a comment if you liked this or if you want to share something to help me improve my writing.
> 
> Hmu on tumblr and let's scream over volleyball gays together. I'm fukurouji :)
> 
> \- Portia


End file.
